So to
head to the main point, what I want to know is if men go through some
non-intimacy phase. Do they once every few months feel that they need space,
literally? It happened to me with the Hub-man the day we came back from our
wedding vacation. My extremely romantic husband suddenly turned into this
wooden creature which seemed to abhor intimacy!
And
by intimacy, I don’t mean ravishing, you know. I don’t really care for
ravishing. What I do want is the comfortable intimacy which exists between
couples. The holding hands, coochie-cooing, nuzzling of noses…
There
are times when the Hub-man is so in-tuned with me, he pulls me close for a hug
in the elevator during our short ride from the ground floor to the seventh. Or
pulls me to lean against him in the queue at the cashier’s in the middle of a
crowded shopping mall. Or creeps up from behind to hold me from behind when I’m
standing at the sink scrubbing my face.
But
these days… even if I reach out for him, he’ll pull away. Oh, sure! He gets
these unexpected bursts of affection at times, when he’ll call out his pet name
for me, or when he’ll reach down (yes, down! I’m so much shorter than him!
Urgh!) to drop me a kiss. But they’re so infrequent. And if I ever respond , he recoils back into his shell.
The other day, a friend who is to get married soon asked me about the ravishing. She’s nervous-excited about it, and since she and her fiancé have known each other and been waiting to get married for four years, it’s even more beautiful for her. The last time we’d spoken, I’d told her we did it like bunnies. And this time, I had no reply. For it seems with intimacy, the Hub-man’s inclination toward ravishing has gone down too…
Especially
since I’m a person with an old school of thought, that it should be the man who
should initiate any intimate contact, when the Hub-man pulls away, it feels
worse to me. Not only does he NOT initiate anything himself, he does not let my
attempt bear any fruit either.
Is it
because I’ve put on weight? Has he lost interest in me? Or is it his work,
which keeps him pre-occupied too much? Or is it just a phase he’s going
through? Because this thing going on is not the Stretch. This one’s much worse
than the Stretch!
Someone
once told me that the best way to keep a man’s interest is to not let him know
you’re too interested. And so, I quell my urge to fling my arms around the
Hub-man when he reaches out for me. And I feign dis-interest in anything
intimate. As if wanting him with me 24x7 is the last thing on my mind. And I
hope that this phase fades away soon. It did fade awat at the time of our
wedding, though it took nearly two months to do so!
Believe
me, playing games with him is the last thing I want to do, but what you gotta
do, you gotta do. Because all I know is, I miss my Hub-man these days…
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